Deer Diary,

Oct 21st, 2025.
I learned about a dinosaur today that I am absolutely enraptured by. They're called "Sinosauropteryx" and they have big fluffy downy-feather lizard tails that are striped like a raccoon.
Coincidentally, I was listening to the audiobook "What It's Like to Be a Bird" by David Allen Sibley and the Roadrunner chapter mentioned something even WILDER. Dinosaur stans feel free to tear me to pieces if I remembered this wrong, but it turns out there were a shitload of avianbird dinosaurs before the giant meteor dropped, but a lot of them died because the only food around anymore was ferns. There's fancy words for this period of time that end with stuff like "-aceuoeous period" but i've been calling it "the fernening". The only bird avian dino survivors were land birds, and then all our now birds evolved from those land birds. So every bird you know evolved from these guys?

1. Ostriches
2. Chickens and Ducks
3. Pigeons, Grebes, Roadrunners

if I knew how to code a poll i'd ask you guys what category you think you are. I guess just drop it in the replies until I can figure that out. Looks like a CSS thing, but I'm learning more CSS soon so FINGERS CROSSED.

Made a car appointment because I checked with my handy dandy obd-II reader (plug in thing that spits out a code that shows you why your check engine light turned on, they're really cool actually) and it turns out my o2 sensor is not happy. From what i've garnered, o2 sensors are the part of your engine that makes sure you're not huffing engine fumes and the oxygen balance is normal, and if it's not doing well your car rumbles like it's holding back a phlegmy cough every time you're braked at a stoplight. My car is definitely doing that, so that lines up. Unfortunately they can't have me in until November and I gotta drive across the country next week for Furpocalypse, so I'm gonna pray to my chosen deity (a large bird) that I can make it to Pennsylvania and swap cars with my fish buddy.

that's all I got for y'all today. I'm gonna work on some more website graphics and see if I can get some work done on this painting commission.
love you (not actually),
wren

P.S. My friend kast coded me a little thing so I can have pages!!! thank you kast!!

Deer Diary,

Oct 20th, 2025. I have no idea what I am doing. I have consumed 2 monster energy drinks today. I set up my office in the day room again despite it being cold. I missed the sunshine... I've been really engrossed in old web graphic decorations. I thought about what I was going to do with my website. I came up with an introduction speech while walking the dog, actually.

Making it abundantly clear from the beginning, I am the bus driver
I'm in control
I'm the dommy mommy of this topic train
You're in my domain
And here I talk about what's interesting to me and you get the privilege of seeing it
I'm not a consistent woman
sometimes im not a woman at all

So if I decide to get really into shuffle dancing for the next week, you cannot and will not steer me away
If we're learning pixel art, we're learning pixel art
Animation? animation
Tv preacher with a multi million dollar theme park taken down in 1987? 2 years of it
you want five nights at freddys you got a billion other people for that
i'm not your friend
i'm not your idol
i'm not your anything
i'm a walking contradiction that was placed in the same timeline as you for no discernible reason
other people are gonna tell you they're special and will try to convince you to financially support them
i'm gonna tell you the truth
if you Don't give me a dollar, someone else might. or they might not.
if you Do give me a dollar, someone else might. or they might not.
Either way if I don't get enough dollar it's gonna get progressively more difficult to take care of myself and create.
which means you'll see less from me
so if you want to guarantee i'll have at least a dollar, be that dollar.
if you want to guarantee I have at least 20, nbbe that 20
or ask your rich friend
or rob a bank

i'm not gonna suck your dick if you do or tell you you're special
but i'll be alive
and i'll be talking
and isn't that enough for you?
no?
then get outta here

Every time I read it I feel differently. Is it lame? is it funny? man idk. I like reading it in an italian mobster accent though. i'm worried if I do social media again it's gonna get weird and parasocial. but how do you like...prevent that. can you have an audience of people that just genuinely like you or do you have to tap into the weirdos. I don't want to tap into the weirdos. Even if they have money!! No weirdos. But how do you exist online without attracting or tapping into the weirdos. Is the business of being online and making money off your art just taking advantage of the wealthiest weirdos??? weirdos are stalkers and people that put you on a pedestal btw. How can I make enough money to survive and also not waste my time on this earth dragging myself through every day miserably. I know i'm probably gonna die in some natural disaster in the next 10 years or so and I don't know how to justify doing stuff like paperwork to myself with that knowledge. I want to look at a bird. I want to look at the birds before there's none left. I feel like every day I am wasting time.
I made a little reference graphic for making neocities stuff for my friends :)
see you tomorrow interwebs,
Wren

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